i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Randomize
