She just used a chaser for red wine.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
