I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize