You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Drunk is not a location!
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
