New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Houston, we have a blender
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize