Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
ttyl tear gas
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize
