Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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