Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize