I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Randomize
