he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize
