I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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