Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Randomize
