i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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