just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Randomize
