You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Randomize
