The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
