We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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