There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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