he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
