i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I know her cup size but not her name....
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