she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Randomize
