just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Randomize
