He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Randomize
