SEEEEXXX PLEASE
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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