I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
