I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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