Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
