I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
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