her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
