You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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