i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
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