There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
