So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
