i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
