You're my little dorito
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
