I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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