there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
