wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
