Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
