my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize