I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
This is the high leading the old right now
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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