how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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