Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
