I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize