I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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