You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
