can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
