he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
