I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
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