I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Randomize
