I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize