Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
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