Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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