"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
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