we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
