The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
