just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
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The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
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YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
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