im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
