so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
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